Little Star Of Summer Night
by Manganese Wolf
Summary: When a soul reaper girl graduates from the academy and gets put into the sixth squad, her memories begin to unravel themselves...unleashing an uncertain power with a set fate...   visit www.littlestarofsummernight. to be updated and get involved
1. CHAPTER 1 SEALED FATE

Little Star of Summer Night

CHAPTER 1 - Sealed Fates

_'Hoshi-chan no!'_ The scream pierced my mind as I looked up at the assembly of captains.

"It's back again", I whispered more to myself than anyone else, but my academy friend heard me.

"You mean the memories don't you?" I briefly nodded at him and he gave me a compassionate smile, pulling me tight into his arms. "I am positive things will change, you'll get a good captain and have a bright future. Then the past will leave you alone!" His enthusiasm made me smile.

"Thank you Kibou-kun", his warmth left me as he stared open mouthed at the letter which he now held. He offered me the small piece of white paper, crumpled from the many changing of hands, still gaping as I began to read it over.

_' This is a notice issued to the graduating student, Ookami-Akki, you are the single graduate who will be entering the 6th division of the court guard squads. Captain Kuchiki Byakuy_

_a was impressed with your overall performance in the academy and has hand-picked you to be the only graduate that enters his division. Please approach the sixth division captain as soon as you have received, read and acknowledged this letter._

_General Captain Yamamoto Genryuusai, 1st Division'_

I took one last look at Kibou, his deep brown hair tied into a single long pony tail and the two bangs framing his face before turning to walk towards Captain Kuchiki. I pushed slowly past all of the other graduates before breaking through into a large, empty area at the front of the gathered graduates. I walked cautiously forward, scanning to various captains in front of me.

"You are such a little freak! What kind of person has no last name?", I turned on my heels to view the girl who now stepped out of the crowd. People sniggered and smirked at me, waiting for my response.

"Someone who knows their place in this world, unlike some people who should remain within the crowd", I was stoic, cold, calm and expressionless. I refused to show them just how unnerved I was inside that she had just raised alarm bells amongst the captains. I turned away and continued on my towards my new captain, I heard gentle footfalls on concrete quickly approaching from behind me. I calculated her angle, the angle of her unreleased zanpakuto, which edge was facing me and the speed of which it would approach and where. All this I judged in a mere split second. I then turned on heels, spinning around grasping the opposite side of the zanpakuto to that which faced me, pressuring her hand gripping the hilt with my free right hand and then sweeping my leg beneath hers. She fell to the floor, disarmed and hardly hurt. Just with a sore hand and backside. I turned the zanpakuto around and offered it to her hilt first, she accepted it and slapped away my other hand I offered her; picking herself up from the floor.

"Why? Why are you the only one who got into his division?" There were tears in her usually smiling eyes, her light brown hair fell disheveled and scruffy over her face and shoulders. I tried to show no emotion but shock registered in my eyes, I stepped forward to stand next to her then embraced her. She was shorter then me by about a whole three heads height. I hugged her, holding her tight in my arms. She was about 6 years younger than me, the youngest one in the academy. Instead of pushing me away she clung tightly to me and sobbed.

"Little Sukoshi-Shisuta...my Sushi-chan", I smiled joking with her name, her tears halted and laughter filtered through the air, I had given her that name when I had taken her under my wing after her family died of a hollow attack in the hanging-dog district of rukongai. I took her hand as I stood and lead her with me towards my new captain, I looked up at him; a noble high above us. I looked deep into his eyes hoping, despite his reputation. that he could understand me. I saw a hint of shock in his eyes, I panicked. Had he recognised something about me...no he couldn't have. Could he? A brief nod in my direction and I beamed a smile at him, he understood!

_Maybe he hasn't changed as much as I thought...my Kuchiki Byakuya_

I smiled at my thoughts and then looked down to see my 'little sister' smiling and crying happy tears, I picked her up and place her on my back; allowing her to nestle her head amongst my dark blue hair. He ushered me to join him on the wood podium-like structure. I stood in front of him and gasped when he gently lifted Shisuta off of my shoulders, standing her gently on the floor. I was about to protest when he unwound his scarf from his neck, stepped forward and began to wind it around mine instead.

"Ookami-Akki, I hereby welcome you to the 6th Division of the seretei's gotei 13 as the joint lieutenant of my division." Everyone gaped in awe, I managed to keep my mouth shut but my mind wondered.

_Was there even allowed to be two Lieutenants to one division in the gotei 13?_

I looked towards the General Captain who simply smiled and nodded acknowledgment that this was, in fact, what he had also been wanting. I looked back at my captain and beamed a smile offering my hand in a sincere agreement that this was the future, there was no turning back.

At the touch of our hands, the deal was sealed. But so was our fate.


	2. CHAPTER 2  ALL THAT REMAINS

CHAPTER 2 – ALL THAT REMAINS

Months passed as I learned to fit in with the shinigami way of life. My mentor, First Lieutenant Abarai Renji of division six of the gotei thirteen, was not as 'hot-headed' and rash as people were think on first meeting him. His bright red hair and stark black tattoos were a brilliant contrast, i'd grown to love them in the short time that I had belonged to the division or 'squad' as people often called them. Now, 6 months into my time out of the academy I am sat at the sixth squads outdoor training grounds, waiting for my unsuitably late mentor. I hung my head low to rest on my bare fore arms. I was not in my uniform today, instead I had opted for a plain white t-shirt and black shorts. I hadn't bothered to wear any shoes as the weather scolded my feet if I had them concealed. However I had not removed the silk scarf, still carefully wrapped around my shoulder. No marks scarred it's perfect service or tainted the baby blue tinge it held so proudly. As warm as it made me I simply couldn't remove it.

_No matter how much I wear it, it still smells of him...I'm glad the smell of him still lingers. It's beautiful...like bright new blooming blossoms on a beautiful spring day._

I was shaken from my thoughts by new wetness soaking my arm...tears. Why was I crying? Shaking myself off I jumped to my feet, trying to control myself. I ran half way into the training grounds, drew my zanpakuto and collapsed to my knees. I held my head tightly as I wept.

_'"Hoshi Ritoru? Hoshi Ritoru, are you okay? Why the tears...you know that i'll be here to hold you every single day. It's okay to cry but it's also okay to smile, don't ever lose that perfect smile that is only for your face...that smile keeps me going as much as the heart within my chest. Don't you ever lose it, not ever, not even for a moment...a smile begs for no ill omens whereas a frown will last much longer in the form of wrinkles!" The male laughter filtered through the air, followed by the sensation of warmth all around me._

"Akki-chan...akki-chan can you hear me?" A voice beckoned me and I tried to open my eyes, wincing at the harsh sunlight. "Akki-chan! You're all right!" The voice sounded familiar, I managed to shield my eyes enough to see a little pink haired girl leaning over me. Her lieutenants arm-band proved to me that it was Kusajishi Yachiru, lieutenant of the eleventh division of the gotei 13.

"Ya...yachiru?" I managed to open my mouth to speak, I regretted it as I began to cough up a substantial amount of blood, raising myself to sit blood splattered the earth as I continued to cough.

"That is quite a cough you have there now is it not? How about you let me get you in the shade and give you a check?" The kind concerned voice of Retsu Unohana was followed with the slender arms of Isane Kotetsu as she helped to lift me off of the baked earth, carrying me carefully into the shade at the edge of the training grounds. Ensuring not to damage me any more, Isane lowered me onto the ground and continued to place a drip in my arm...much to my disgruntled disagreement. "You poor dear how long have you been out here?" I looked up at Unohana and shook my head gently, she showed me a watch.

"It's 2:30pm that means i've been out for about..." I paused, calculating the time as I rested against the concrete wall behind me. "...i'd say roughly four and a half hours at the most," Unohana had shock in her eyes and immediately began making calls to squad members using hells butterflies, I wondered why there was such panic. Suddenly all hell broke loose, ten or twenty members of the fourth squad appeared in the training grounds. Each bowed respectively to Isane and Unohana.

"Prepare to cast heal thirty-six, sleep 22, water 61 and repair 102! Immediately!" Isane spoke the commands and then ran into the 'rabble' of people and began to draw many various symbols along the dirt floor of the sixth squad grounds.

"Contact Captain Kuchiki immediately and let him know that I require his presence this very instance!" Unohana issued a command and an individual disappeared, flash-stepping towards where my captain was, presumably, at. I looked wearily up at Unohana, the drip of purple liquid still connected to my arm.

"My lady, may I ask why this is required? I feel fine is there something wrong?" I politely questioned lady Unohana, raising myself gently to my feet and pulling the drip out of my arm. She appeared to hesitate then walked forwards and hugged me, holding me tightly in her grasp.

"This is necessary because you are dieing..." I widened my eyes at her comment, unable to grasp the words that had just appeared out of her mouth.

"How? I'm here! I'm fine!" She looked at me with that motherly expression that told me she didn't want to explain, that it just was. I understood. I crumpled into pain and kneeling with me, she cradled me like my mother would have done...all those years ago.

_'"I'm here my Hoshi...my Hoshi Ritoru. I'll make you all better! Just you wait and see!"'_

The words filled my head and consoled me, Unohana would take care of me. I trusted her.

"Lady Unohana we are ready with the preparations and captain Kuchiki is on his way this very minute. There is one last preparation that we need information for though for this to work," the messenger spoke diligently but hope left his voice when he mentioned that something was missing. Unohana lifted me into her arms and carried me towards the strange circulation of symbols, there were two banners. One above the symbol and one below, both drawn in a red ink that contrasted the black used to draw the rest of the symbols.

"We need your name Akki...your real name." She looked at me hard and I knew I couldn't get away with it...but I chose not to speak up. The he was stood there, right behind her. His attention focused on Isane who now conversed with him, presumably filling him in with all the details. I struggled out of Unohana's arms and began to run as quick as I could. I tried to flash-step but my energy was at an all time low. I looked beneath me as I stood on the first banner.

'"Stop being a rotten little kid and grow up! How you ever going to become a strong woman?"' It was my fathers voice.

"But father! How can I...that name...it's no longer mine!" I shouted out, everyone had heard us and was now listening in to the conversation.

'"You are still my beautiful little girl. You are my pride no matter what and I am still proud to give you the name that belongs to this dying family. You are the product of everlasting love and have the blood in your veins that your mother gave you, you are everything we are and therefore the name is still yours.'" The voice materialized into an old man, a brown cloak covered his features, but the musky dust smell that lingered made me turn to face him. '"Make the right choice Hoshi...my little girl...my beautiful little girl."' The man dissipated into the air as Captain Kuchiki stepped forward, a sense of remembrance in the way that he moved. Unohana moved forward and stood mere centimeters away from me, as we began to converse.

"I will tell you, but write it in the ancient language...the language I know has died and very few know. Please?" I pleaded, letting out a sigh.

"Of course but you must tell me what is this all about Akki?" Unohana questioned me, her voice a low whisper. I nodded and responded quickly.

"You will know when you know my name..."

Moments later I took my last look at the sky and at him. Then light surrounded me and I closed my eyes, letting my tears fall behind the wall that now encased me. Then all was silence and darkness was all that remained.


	3. CHAPTER 3  ARMS OF AN ANGEL

CHAPTER 3 – ARMS OF AN ANGEL

_'"Let's play! Let's play!" a young girl ran circles around an older woman, her face beaming with a smile and a small pink rubber ball was cradled in her tiny arms. She was stopped by a single hand on her head, ruffling her hair gently then walking away. "But Sukoshi-sama! You said that yesterday...and the day before. You say it all the time!" The little girl screamed at the older woman, tears coursing their way down her cheeks._

"_Find a maid that is willing to play with her Sakura," the lady spoke to a maid that passed her by and the young girl nodded politely then walked towards the girl. Lifting the girl high into her arms she walked towards the blossom tree and the cool pond situated beneath it. Comforting and consoling the girl, she rocked her till she fell asleep whispering a song gently into her ear..."_

I awoke screaming, crying and whining. Like a tiny child who didn't understand what was going on, but I soon stopped when I broke out of the dream-like state I was in, to listen to the gentle hum of machinery. That was when I registered the tubes leading in and out of my mouth and the two drips on my left arm, the beeping of a heart monitor and the thrum of something else. I could not identify the noise and decided that it must be some sort of monitor on brain waves. The room was dark, despite the slivers of sunlight that crept in through the gaps in the black-out blinds.

_I wish I could get up to open them...i'd like to have some light amongst this darkness_

As I thought that the doors opened and someone came in hurriedly, closing the door quickly and quietly behind them. A pressure pulled the quilts tighter over my body and I felt a hand on my head, it was warm...familiar. Then it left and I managed to make out the form of a male figure still sat at the beds edge, I reached a my right hand out and gently clung to the edge of the shinigami uniform they were wearing. The man had not been expecting this and responded strangely, jumping to his feet he exited. I was left stunned and unable to understand what had just happened, struggling to sit up I managed to pull the drips from my arms and remove the monitoring equipment. The hard part was the tubes. Swallowing my fears I quickly pulled the tubes carefully from within me, then wobbled to stand on my two feet. I ran for the door, grasping its handle and running out into sunlight. The sun blinded me and I instinctively covered my eyes. A hand rested on my head and I knew it was him, but every time I tried to look the light prevented me from seeing anything. I batted the hand away and ran off in, what I thought, was the opposite direction. Instead I ran straight into him. Falling to the floor I truly began to feel like a little kid once more.

_Come on you stupid eyes of mine! Work...work!_

I heard laughter. Gentle, strong...unlike anything I had heard before but familiar in a strange way. It filled me with a sensation of nostalgia and I too began to laugh. Despite the pain it caused me I enjoyed it, to laugh again. I hadn't laughed like this since...then I remembered and my laughter dulled. He must have noticed because his too ceased and I could tell that he was looking at me...pondering whether to speak or to leave me be. I heard footsteps approaching, quiet converse and then silence. One set of footsteps faded and another set approached. I felt material being tied over my eyes and under my hair, a soft material much like the silk scarf I had received from my captain the day that I graduated.

"I will discharge you today as long as you promise to wear this blind-fold during the day-time for at least a single month, so lets go get you dressed and your hair done and get you back out there!" The voice was Isane and I understood, nodding my head she helped me to stand on my feet moving back in the direction I presumed I had come from. Whilst she styled my hair, after I had dressed. She told me that there was an easy method to navigate the soul society in a time like this. Handing me a small object, turning it over in my hand I presumed it to be a sort of earpiece. Very small, concealable and light. Popping it into my right ear, which she then re-covered with the piece of fabric covering my eyes, she explained how it worked and before I knew it she was sending me out the door.

It was easy to navigate soul society using the earpiece, it would register the reshi in the surroundings and help me understand where everything was by using small spiritual pressure waves directly into my brain. No-one knew it was there. Easy...right? But once again I was still getting a sense for it and walked several times into walls which I did not register as being there. After several hours of wondering the device beeped four times, that was to let me know that it was dark enough now to remove the bandage and the device. Upon removing the blind-fold I was shocked to find myself standing in front of the sixth divisions training grounds, only to see my captain and the first-lieutenant conversing in at its edge. Realizing that they had not spotted me I decided to move into the training ground to practice. The something spoke out...something familiar.

_**Speak my name...please speak my name I want to fight beside you! I want to protect, to defend and to heal your tears...so please speak my name and let me out!**_

I had no thoughts when I raised my sort out of its sheathe and held it pointing towards my chest, I pulled it up angled to strike my heart and called out to it,

"Naito Sono Kantsu, Kizoku-Urufu Yoru!" I plunged the sword into my chest, there was no pain only a satisfaction of who I was.

_**Thank you my dear friend, now I can protect you...like I did when you were but a small child**_

The sword split, changing color and reshaping itself. Winding its way down my left arm it formed a black claw with delicate silver outlining and on my back it formed one solitary black wing sparkling with silver 'glitter'. I sighed and smiled, this was the power I held within me. The power, no the companion who had been entrusted to me. The power to protect others, not to kill, not to harm nor do no damage...it was the power to fight for the people you wanted to protect and keep them unharmed. I sighed and collapsed to the earth, turning my head to the side I whispered,

"Thank you...thank you Amaterasu-ōmikami...thank you," I whispered it and fell unconscious to the noise of shunpo, in the arms of an angel.


	4. CHAPTER 4 POISONED SUN

CHAPTER 4 – POISONED SUN

I awoke slowly. You know that horrible morning feeling where you know you're awake already but don't want to be, well that's how I felt. I drearily opened my tired eyes, looking at my surroundings I soon guessed that I was not in the squad six barracks. The walls were a beautiful light blue with paintings of cherry blossom groves hanging from the walls, they hung gracefully from every single area that a pin could possibly be put into the wall. The futon I was in had beautiful white sheets with pink and blue blossoms in the bottom left corner of the sheet, the pillow was the same pattern. I looked at the ceiling and realized that it was morning and I should probably put the blind-fold back on. I looked hurriedly around the room and spotted the material on a nearby desk, along with a folded kimono. I picked up the kimono and laid it out on the floor so that I could get a proper look at it. It was stunningly beautiful. It was black with pink sakura blossoms on the bottom left, where the two sides of material would cross when tied with the obi. The obi itself was black with a silver crane winding around it, I was breathless. Where was I and who had given me such amazing clothing?

"That is for you, the master left it for you. He said that it would be best if you wore that for the day and allowed us to properly wash and repair your uniform," I jumped and when I looked up a maid had entered the room through the shoji screen doors. She lead me into a side room, turning out to be a beautifully ornate wash room. She helped me to strip down and lathered me with soap, washed me with warm water and rinsed me with cold. Afterward she lathered me with many different scented oils and skin softeners and moisturizers. She wrapped a special laundry material around my two areas to use as underwear and then helped to dress me in the long-sleeved kimono. Tying the sash tightly she led me back into the bedroom, where she handed me the blind-fold and device. I pressed the device into my ear and then tied the blindfold over my eyes, tucking it under my hair. I realized the feel was different, it was more silky then the one before, and it was black. My other had been purple, had someone given me a new one? I ignored my thoughts as the lady styled and tied my hair then wrapped the special scarf around my neck, it was then that I felt her put something heavy into the front of my hair. Confused I reached to touch it, feeling it's outline I thought it to be a flower hair-pin. I looked towards where I sensed her and smiled, bowing slightly before she stopped me and laughed. A few minutes later I was exiting the manor-like place and on my way to the squad six office to report to the captain and to explain the circumstances.

It took a while to reach the barracks and by the time I did it was lunchtime, my stomach ached. I had not eaten for about a week because of everything that had happened. I stumbled towards the door of the captains office of my squad, I sighed gently and I realized that the door was open. He had gone out for lunch, so it seemed. Shuffling further into the office I found my way to one of the cornered settees, laying with my body bending around the bend I soon found myself drifting to sleep.

_I am so hungry...I can't move anymore_

I awoke to a voice. Strong and authoritative,yet with a hint of concern underlying it. I drearily awoke, brightness blinded my eyes. The blind-fold and device were gone, shielding my eyes are saw them in a out stretched hand; but I quickly refused them. Mentally I apologized to Lady Unohana, promising to make it up to her later, I quickly rose to my feet...only to fall back down onto the cushioned seat once more. I dropped my head into my hands and stared at the tatami mat floor, hoping I could sink back into that deep sleep.

"Captain. Is she awake now? I have the food you requested." I heard a voice at the open shoji door followed by shunpo, hushed voices and the shoji screen closing. The movement of someone caused the tatami mat to move and I was pulled out of my daze by his voice.

"Miss Ookami, I would highly recommend eating this. It will help you to regain your strength." The voice was Captain Kuchiki's so I raised my head and leaned back on the cushioned seat, he gently placed a wooden tray on my lap and then proceeded to sit at his desk, which was a few feet away, and began to consult the large pile of unfinished papers on his desk. I stared at the Captain for a long while before turning my head towards the tray of food in my lap, looking down at the food I smiled gently. For the main meal section there was a large selection of different sushi, for the snack there was a little chocolate man and for pudding there was...

_This is...can't be no-one knows my favourite pudding!_

...red bean paste with jam put into a fish shape. I immediately began to eat the food savouring every single bite of the fish and smiling gently whilst humming to myself, I had completely forgot who else was in the room until I had finished the meal. I looked at the cup of weak sake on the side of the tray suspiciously, something about it smelled...strangely potent. Picking it up I swirled it in the cup and smelled it. The vapours from the warm liquid caught the back of my throat and made me cough and retch. The cup slipped from my hand and hit the tatami mats not far in front of me, a chair clattered and I could smell burning. Looking at where the cup had fallen I watched in horror as the Tanami mat disintergrated before my eyes. My throat burned...

_If this is from the vapours what would have happened if I had drank any of it!_

An arm clasped on my shoulder, blood dripped from the corner of my mouth as I looked up to smile at my captain, to let him know that I was fine. Instead I was met with that look of his...stoic, cold and unforgiving.

_Have I done something wrong? Maybe it would be best if I were to leave now._

I looked away from the captain and quickly shunpoed out of the office and into the bright sunlight, it startled me and I felt the railing of the third story hit my legs; sweeping them out from under me. The air rushed past me as I fell downwards, I squinted against the harsh sun reaching out for the edges of passing balcony areas. Terror swept through me as the second main story passed. I tried to cry out but my throat burned each time I tried, instead I pushed out a large amount of spiritual pressure. The ground was close now...less than a main story. A hand reached for me from the second to last balcony and I quickly grabbed halt of it. The abrupt stop jolted me from my right shoulder and I groaned in pain, quickly many hands pulled me onto the balcony and prevented me from moving.

"Vice-Captain Wolfie are you all right?" A voice spoke out, a familiar voice. It was an unranked squad member, actually more like seven unranked squad members from my squad. I nodded gently and then looked back over the railings.

_A few more seconds and I'd be on terra firma but not firm myself._

I smiled mentally at my thoughts for a moment, but it was then that I noticed the height of the railings...now I was standing I could see that they were no shorter then roughly my waist height; it couldn't have been what sent me over. It should of hit my stomach not my shin...what was going on here? I shook my head, distancing the thoughts and focusing back on the small group of squad members. My throat still burned, the pain seared like someone had decided to iron brand my throat. I sighed knwoing that this spelled trouble in the days to come. Immediately after the thoughts passed I began to cough and 'hack-up' blood onto the wooden decking below me. In the midst of pain and confusion I successfully raised my head and spoke in choked clusters of words.

"Clean up..." I 'hacked-up' more blood as members rushed to help me, supporting me by leaning me on a bench not far away. As a member tried to run off I pulled quickly on them using my right shoulder, regretting it when pain seared through it. "Tell...", the squad member listened intently as I finished coughing up more blood, "no-one!" I managed to emphasize the last section of what I said before I continued my coughing fit. The member trued to argue...

"...not even Captain Kuchiki?" They asked confusedly and i nodded strongly, they hesitated with mouths open and expressions agahst before accepting it and nodding politely, bowing, healing my shoulder, cleaning up and continuing on their way.

A day passed with little event except for Abarai being assigned to guard and train me...that was horrible! An investigation was being launched into the poison attempt on me and the seretei was treating me like a little 'kid'. I still struggled with talking and tried my best to hide the problems I had...but all went wrong a mere two weeks after the event that had caused me so much agony.

"Renji!" I paused to breath as my breath began to escape me, my breaths fell short and heavy; my chest rose and fell hurriedly trying to regain a rhythm. I looked up to see that I was alone, coughing blood onto the earth I began to feel like I was drowning. "R...Re...RENJI!" I managed to scream as I collapsed to my knees hugging myself as my entire body shook violently, blood dripping in pools onto the earth below. I gurgled blood now with each breath as the energy seeped from my body...I was paralysed into this position!

_Somebody help...please...i'm scared...i'm so...scared!_

I wept, my tears mixing with the blood staining the floor around me causing it to spread into a 'pinkish' liquid at its edges. The blood rose higher in my lungs as I stifled another cry of agony and fear.

"H...hw...hw...h...e...l...p", I muttered to myself, trying to cease the fear welling inside of me. The world was turning black as I fell onto my left side, splashing into the blood pool...

_What if...what if no-one comes to help me..._

My thoughts strayed as pain seared once more through my body and blood was spluttered in front of me. Staring at the baked training grounds I wondered if anyone would find me, the ground appeared to stretch on forever and the sun continued to bake the earth all around me...as if saving me for last. As if it wanted to enjoy my suffering for as long as possible. That stupid sun...it was as if it too had been poisoned by hatred; that stupid poisoned sun.


	5. CHAPTER 5 ARMS WIDE OPEN

LSSN: Arms Wide Open

Tears flowed over the sweltering Earth as i awoke to realise that I was still alive, but still completely alone in the crimson dust. Now conscious I could feel the fear once more rising up my chest accompanied by more blood surfacing from my lungs, bringing back the taste of metal into my bone-dry mouth. It was then that I attempted to block everything out, i began to whisper a gentle and soothing rhythmic pattern of words to myself; consoling my tears and fighting the fear burrowing within me.

_"Why so down little bird,_

_Your wing can mend,_

_But a broken heart is harder to lose,_

_Learn to smile little bird,_

_Learn to fly free,_

_You're precious to me,_

_Like the moon to the sea,_

_When that wing mends little bird,_

_Fly fast and free,_

_Don't look back at me,_

_With sad eyes of longing,_

_Look forward to what will be,_

_Little bird learn to smile,_

_Little bird learn to be free."_

When the last syllable faded into silence I drifted into a place which I had long since forgotten, un-knowingly, i was to be welcomed back into it without any hesitation.

Blearily I blinked open my eyes to see a purple sky high above me, flowing freely with blue streaks. As I rose to a seated position I acknowledged that all my pain was gone, but it was then; when I looked around me, that I began to beam a perfectly serene smile. Flowers. Tons of beautifully ornate flowers in all the colours of the rainbow were spread with pristine accuracy out as far as the eye could see, and here I was...seated at the beginning of them all. They were all different shapes, none stood alone and no two were precisely the same size. But as they became more distant i could see that they became of better quality than their predecessors. Now i shuffled forward to investigate a small glass case buried amongst some blue grass, at the start of a long silver pathway leading directly through the middle of the meadow of delicate flowers. Inside the fragile case, upon a small cushion, lay a tiny yet incredibly intricate cherry blossom made of wood. Each of its edges appeared smooth and finished with a style that made the tiny object seem more real...it felt as if I could pick it out of the case and pull each petal away from its centre; one by one. Moving myself around to the front-side of the case i spotted a flat, ornimental, bronze plated plaque present on the side of the protective 'container'. The engraving on the plaque was deep and appeared very new and recent, the glass it was connected to also seemed to be of recent origin. But the engraving was too small and all the letters were jumbled up so that I was unable to read even a single word.

"I can't read it at all, this isn't fair why can i not understand something as simple as this?" I spoke quietly to myself, almost whispering in belief that someone else might be able to hear my voice in this vast landscaped location. As I spoke I felt suddenly full of a pain; not a physical pain, it was something deep inside me sturring. I raised my hand to my face, stroking my now damp cheek with my fingers; shocked that there was anything there to begin with.

_Tears? But why am i crying...why do I feel this strange pain as if I just lost something dear to me? I've never been here..._

_' "WOW! This is amazing! Mother and Father told me it would be incredible but how could I have made such a large place! But it could use something..."_

_"How about flowers Hoshi-kun? Why don't we make the flowers from paper?" '_

As i was brought back out of the memory i smiled gently at my surroundings looking at each individually crafted flower and settling content into my mind.

"My inner-world! This is my inner-world!" I cried with joy, knowing that in the future i would be back here many times for comfort and seclude; that I believed it could offer. As my world began to blur back into reality i saw a figure smiling at me, walking down the central silver path. He spread warmth into me, despite the icy colours he wore. He outsretched his arms towards me as I faded...as if to welcome me back into my safe haven with his arms wide open.


	6. CHAPTER 6 DON'T CRY OVER ME

CHAPTER 6 DON'T CRY OVER ME

LSSN: DON'T CRY OVER ME

As the flowers of serenity faded the fear rose once more, but I made a resolve there and then; I would not die here! Gazing at the 'heat-waved' horizon I dragged myself across the earth with every ounce of strength my slender arms could manage...until I reached the shade of the trees. I lay there, a blood trail connecting me still to the patch where my life was determined to come to an end. There was no-one here to help me, but why should anyone be here; it's not like I can't take care of myself. I felt a nauseous feeling come over me, it rose up my throat and the taste came first; it felt as though a frog had been caught in my throat and was trying to make its way out – not to mention that it probably tasted similar to that too. Before I the sickness was over I slipped away again, but this time there was nothing...just the silent blackness to accompany me.

I awoke to bright lights and a white ceiling, it glinted in the strength of the dozens of block lights adjourning the ceiling. The harshness blinded me; causing me to let out a helpless cry. Much to my embarrassment the lights were dimmed and the only light was the soft glow of carefully placed blue lamps that we clipped to the walls; accompanied by Lady Unohana arriving at my bedside. I tried to move but the pain was intense and I soon had to give up on my futile attempt.

"I would remain lying down your wounds are serious and I am not sure for how long you will be in a condition to even remain awake for long," Lady Unohana told it to me bluntly and it was then that I could audibly hear the scurrying of people like dozens of tiny mice hurriedly making preparations for something. I gazed around the huge ward and realised that I was currently in a movable bed and the other squad 4 members were pushing machines, tubes and other equipment towards me.

"Okay we will move her into a separate room now and set up the machines and ensure that she drinks," one squad member approached Unohana and began to push the movable bed, it squeaked as if the strain was too much for it to bear...much like the pain that was too much for me to bear. Once in the room is was connected to many various machines and covered in wires, needles were placed into my arms fed with tubes that would keep me hydrated and others would put blood and medicines into my dying body. The last thing they did was connect a breathing mask to my face, it was a welcome gift because up until they put it on I had been struggling to breathe normally. But despite all the hysteria around me something inside had settled...it was as if someone had decided to lift a great weight from shoulders; for the first time since I was a child I was at peace.

_A small child ran towards a man, his hair was combed into fine strands and held back with various ornaments that were red and green. His laughter was warm and kind, spreading through the air and producing a calming atmosphere; this combined with the smile on his face made everything that troubled you melt away. The girl was picked up spun around and then cuddled tightly to the man, a servant nearby smiled and walked up to the pair of laughing people. She approached with ease and conversed with ease, there was no reason for anyone within the house and estate to be afraid. For all was fine and there was peace...it was a pleasure to be within the confines of such a loving families land._

I lifted the lids of my eyes, unaware of when I had fallen back into my deep slumber. Surveying the room I spotted large amounts of flowers adjourning the window sills and plenty of chocolates and teddy bears on trays and around the bed I was resting in. The machines were gone and the only thing left was the breathing mask, I presumed that things were better now. I could feel the aches, bruises and sections of my body that were still in mild pain but other than that I felt perfectly fine. I lifter my sore arms to wipe my eyes and yawned, realising that my throat was dry and I needed a drink I scanned the room for one. When I could not find one I lifted the small mask from my face and left it on the pillow, switching the switch on its side to turn off its functions. Raising my body I swung my legs from the bed and moved my body towards its edge; the gate on this side was down and I could see the metal button that operated the two sides but decided it best to only leave this side open for the moment. When my feet touched the floor I stumbled slightly before regaining my composure and resuming my walk towards the shoji screen door. It was difficult but I managed to venture forth through the door, closing it silently behind me; only trouble came when I realised how dark it was outside at the moment. It took some time for me to find the next door and this one lead out into the moonlit night of Seretei. I was aware of my surroundings and knew my way around the Seretei by now, I knew exactly where I would be headed and exactly who I should be trying to avoid.

Minutes had passed as I managed to bear using shunpo to speed through the various walkways and over rooftops when I felt as if I would be spotted otherwise. Arriving at the squad 6's second set of barracks;that are just off of the training grounds, I moved to enter the building.

"Well it's getting late you sure we shouldn't be resting now, you know Kuchiki-Taicho will have our heads if we fall asleep on the job tomorrow," a male voice, strong but trembling with fear spoke out from just within the thin paper doors. I was not startled instead I looked around for a different way in, knowing of a skylight and clambered onto the rooftop and made my way cautiously across its surface, using kido to soften my footfalls. I found the skylight; installed by my wish above one of the rooms I used, the small study to be precise. I managed to prise it open after realising that I hadn't locked it since I had last been here. I safely dropped into the room and closed the window behind me, smiling with satisfaction of my own genius. I grasped the side of the shoji screen in front of me and pulled it to the left, smiling as I looked past it...but my smile soon faded away. In front of me should have been a pristine and beautiful room with all my stuff present in it, but instead it was like a web of history. The dust coated the floor and as I stepped across it I left footprints in its delicate surface, it was as if someone had thrown a blanket over everything...as if they were trying to mask out who I was. I thought about who would play such a joke on me, as if to make out that I was non existent any more...but I could think of no-one. Delicately I picked a rectangular object from the display table next to the shoji door to my bedroom. Wiping away the dust I coughed, falling to my knees. The rectangular object hit the floor and the glass shattered, gathering the object into my hands I stared at it; the tears now swelled in my eyes. Curling the picture into my arms, I held onto it tightly not caring about the blood that dripped from the glass edges digging into my arms. The tears broke free of their restraints and I curled into a ball, allowing them to flow in rivers.

It must have been a while before I awoke once more, as the sun now attempted to shine through a murky window covered in grime. I stumbled to my numb feet, still gripping the image in my right blood-covered arm. I moved my left hand towards the window and wiped a hands width of grime away, the windows overlooked the training grounds and as I squinted against the harsh sunlight I could see many figures moving in pairs around the grounds. One stood still, not far from the window and straining my eyes against the sun I could recognise the figure of...

"Captain Kuchiki!" I knew I had said it too loud and by the time I backed away from the window he had all ready turned to look. I heard his shunpo and his hand on the glass...he knew I was in here. There were footsteps and the sounds of air rushing past something in the corridor. I sprinted into the bedroom and cowered in the corner between my wardrobe and one of the solid walls of my room.

"_I'm afraid...please help me i'm so so scared...my mother, my father...my brother and sister...please someone I don't want to..."_

The thoughts came to me, the thoughts of a child...helpless and afraid, but this time I was not helpless and I was not afraid. Raising to my feet I took stand in front of the shoji screen bracing myself for the opening of it, ready to dash past him...still clutching the image in my blood stained arms.

"_I am NOT afraid! Not any-more...never again will I be so weak and helpless!"_

As the thought passed through my mind the door slid open, clacking as it opened wide. I shot past him and gritted my teeth throughout the painful shunpo. Instead of heading to the door I ran back to the room with the skylight, scrambling upwards and out onto the roof. Despite the loss of grip i continued to progress over roof tops and towards the gates of Seretei that lead to the Rukongai districts. I didn't know exactly why I was running, but I guess you could say that I was confused and didn't want to face the people around me; I wanted to know what was going on but I dare not face the truth...so instead I had decided to run away from it all. The gates swung wide as I dashed onwards, aiming for the river at the far end of the 'Hanging Dog' district. It was difficult to remember where I was going as it had been some time since I had last walked, or even ran, through these grubby streets. My feet carried me far until they could bear the burden of my weight no longer...I had reached the river but fell before I had crossed its surface. I stared sideways, willing my legs to move me closer to the exit of this; but they refused. I reached my arms outwards and pulled on the dirt, the picture now under my obi on my hip, beneath my white short night kimono. It was painful and the grinding of my fingers on the dirt caused them to bleed...more blood. But I was nearly there...if I could just hide beneath the bridge then I would be fine. I knew I would make it, it was only a matter of dragging myself towards my goal. My hands grew tired as I came to the edge of the bank, and looked down the small hill at the water connecting at its base. I made the decision there and then...using every ounce of strength I had left I flung my body over the hills edge and into the cold water.

_'It's a lot colder then I first thought!'_

I gasped at how cold the water was, tears dripped from my eyes as the cold seeped into my skin...right down to my bones. I could feel the cold spreading as I lay half under the bridge, it crept from my toes and chest...taking its time to spread around my body. The pain that came next was agonizing, the cold had reached my brain...now I was done for.

_'I can hear someone...it sound like someone screaming? I wonder what's happening to them...I wonder if they're all right?'_

My mind heard the sound as it began to froze, but it did not register that it was me that was screaming. Neither did it have the strength left to tell my body to live. I could feel myself slipping from beneath the bridge, there was no grip left in these hands...no life in this pale skin. There was no way I would escape this time...

"_I'm afraid...please help me I'm so so scared...my mother, my father...my brother and sister...please someone I don't want to..."_

"Die...", The whisper was all that remained in the air surrounding me as my body began to move with the tides of the river, not caring to leave me unscathed it flung me into a rock that lay half way into its depths. My body moulded around it, bending at the stomach; arms out in front of me and round to one side I was only mildly aware of my situation. I could feel some sort of warmth that spread from my stomach and other patches on my arms, forehead, neck and legs; it comforted me because I could not comprehend what it might be. It was warmth, that was all that I knew. The warmth allowed me to move my fingertips and twitch my toes...unfortunately the numbness also began to fade and the pain once more began to well from where it had receded to. This time though I didn't cry out..who would be there to hear me.

Time must have passed by so slowly whilst I awaited my death, I could see crimson now; it was staining the rock and the waters around it. Crimson danced its cruel dance in the waters where I was stranded, branding me one of its own. Crimson continued to be free, escaping whilst it had the chance to do so...leaving me very much alone. All I could think about was crimson and all that was here was crimson now, but my thoughts were brought to the attention of an unusual rippling movement in the water...someone else must be in the water.

"Poor kid," The voice was familiar to me, but it was a voice I had not heard since my days at the academy. I could see the ripples disappear and I finally released my mind...allowing it to panic.

"Don't!" I called out as loud as I could and I could not make out the sudden movement of water, "Don't leave...please," the movement of the ripples became rapid now and the person had reached me. They took halt of my shivering form and pulled me into their arms.

"My my you are a strong one aren't you," the man curled me into him and walked to shore, it was only then that he must have got a good look at my face, "it's Wolf!" His shock was evident and he began to shunpo, or at least I believed that he did. I did not register anything else that happened next and simply ignored the world around me once more, if I was going to die now at least I could die knowing that I had people who cared about me surrounding me. But a voice broke through my thoughts and forced me to awaken to the world.

"Miss Wolf you must stay awake! I can't let you sleep, I'm sorry but you must stay awake!" The voice was the lieutenant of squad 4, Isane I believe her name is. I managed to force my eyes open to meet hers; I could tell that I was now laying on an intensive care bed due to the noise of machinery around me and the ceiling of the room I was in. Tubes ran all around the bed and into me and out, machine pads were attached to me and everything was rushed. I couldn't focus and I could feel myself becoming lost once more into myself, the world was closing off to me. Isane kept calling me back from myself, bringing me forth from the edge of death. I must have 'faded' like this on and off for some time as Unohana had to take over work on me whilst Isane focused on keeping me 'with them'. Eventually Unohana dismissed a tired Isane and told me that I was free to rest, at the point I had all ready begun to slip away into my own little world...my inner world. I needed to rest and to avoid hearing all the machines I decided to rest within the safety and silence of my hand-made world, where everything would be fine; no matter what turmoil was happening outside.

Curling against the blue-satin fabric of an old friend, we sheltered in a rock cave at the right turn off half way down the field of paper flowers. The rain was causing everything to ruin, the flowers drooped and some had all ready turned to paper mush; their colours were running like blood all over the grass beneath them.

"Why is this happening i'm not crying...why must everything I enjoy come to ruin?" My voice was muffled by the warmth of a steady arm pulling me tight against them with dainty hands to hold onto me.

"Not everything comes to ruin my dear, you built such a beautiful cave when you were but a child just so that if anything should come to happen I could shelter beneath it," the voice was comforting, brotherly and made me feel as if I could fly above heaven. More importantly he; the owner of the wonderful voice, was right. I rose to my feet, pouring strength into the soles of the bare skin as it contacted with the cold stone underneath, I pulled my head up high and walked towards the cave entrance. The deluge of rain was monsoon-like, it was like trying to see through frosted glass . A hand took halt of mine as we stepped out into the torrential downpour, I had all ready made my mind up...this was the end of the rain.

_No-one would see me cry any-more, that way no-one would have to cry over me...never._

"Don't cry over me...",

A single person walked away from my bedside, accompanied by a soft whisper of...

"Don't worry about us, we know that tears won't bring you back to us any sooner...rest soundly there will be no more tears from our eyes."


End file.
